I was raised to be a feminist by my mom, but my dad was a hardcore traditionalist. When I started dating, mom told me that it was my body and my life, and that I shouldn’t let myself be held back by cultural expectations.
To trust my gut and go for the guy who’d caught my eye. Dad, however, told me that I should never make the first move – that it was the guy’s job to approach and invite me out on a date. If I let him choose me, there was a better chance that I’d find a guy who was honorable, real relationship material. That he’d be less likely to break my heart or use me for sex.
Going back and forth, trying to fit into either of those extreme mindsets always ended up with a broken heart, anyway. Dad’s advice never prepared me for players. Mom’s advice made me look like a junior cougar.
Nowhere in this did I really stop and figure out what was best for me! I got to a point where I just stopped looking. I swore off dating, and just focused on other parts of my life – the ones I’d been neglecting between broken hearts and dating disappointments.
One day my girlfriend called me up, gushing about this guy she’d started seeing, who she’d met online. They really seemed to have some chemistry! So, after a while, I got online and started researching online dating sites. But that obviously wasn’t for me.
First of all, I’m pretty but I don’t think I’m very photogenic, so that wouldn’t help me. I’d also been a homebody for so long, I really felt uncomfortable putting myself out there like that. The idea of my profile being on the “world wide web” actually terrified me! But I was tired of being by myself, I was ready to try again!
So, while I was browsing dating sites, I saw a link for a free flirt chat line . Looking into it, this seemed like the perfect solution! I could call in whenever I wanted to – even in the middle of the night – and be connected with local singles.
While weighing the pros and cons, I found that I was really comfortable with the idea of expanding my dating candidates, but getting to stay anonymous (just a simple username and some basic demographics) until someone really struck my fancy. Plus, I’d get to really know them before I went on a real life date!
I called in, and I’ll never regret that decision! I was immediately connected with guys in my area, and all of my pessimism started to drain away. I found a way to fit in some flirting, some romance, and even real-life dating on my terms, my schedule.
I got to pick who I wanted to talk with, and I could just hang up and try again if I really wasn’t feeling it. I could be the forward woman, and still let him ask me out on a real date. Ultimately, the best of both worlds!
